Hooking up with an ex can be a good idea, whether you are trying to find closure after a breakup or simply attempting to enjoy with someone. When you can take pleasure in good sex with someone you’ve already had a sexual connection with, it can be better than going for a stranger, as it feels undeniably familiar and more secure.
However, it is important to think about how to make it work without being unpleasant. After a breakup, all the bottled feelings can come rushing back, and that isn’t great, especially if sex is on the table.
To ensure that this hookup proceeds drama-free, here are some tips to consider:
- Talk about your expectations and set the record straight at the initial stages of the discussion. Define the relationship you’ll have later, so that there is no confusion.
- Avoid discussing past hurt. It is important to remind yourself why the separation took place, so you know where to set the boundary. Having this honest conversation with yourself will stop you from reigniting any feelings.
- Be sober. Hooking up with your ex while intoxicated or under the influence of any drug is a recipe for drama. Stay sober to ensure that you don’t say or do things that suggest otherwise.
- Avoid actions that can trigger emotional attachment, like snuggling and eye-gazing after sex.
- Do not make it a habit. Talking to your ex should be a one-time thing, and after that, you should move on. If you drag it out too long, it may end up reigniting a relationship.
- Avoid talking about new relationships. Keep that information to yourself when you and your ex are together to avoid feeling awkward.
When is it not an excellent concept to hook up with your ex?
The position of an ex should remain in the past, and while a hookup might seem appropriate, the risks that come with talking to your ex are numerous. Here are some situations when you should stay away from your ex, even though you want to hook up with them:
- You are still in love with them. A hookup may make things more difficult for you if you realize that you are still in love with your ex, even after being apart for some time.
- They are still in love with you. Talking to an ex who still has feelings for you is unfair since you’ll give hope of rekindling your relationship, which isn’t what you want.
- You’re not sure of your feelings for them. If you can’t tell for sure whether you love them or not, the best thing would be to wait until you have clearly defined your feelings. Talking to them might derail your recovery process and return you to a fresh heartbreak. If you’re unsure of your feelings, don’t use sex to test how you feel.
To enjoy drama-free connections with your ex, you should both be open-minded and in a position to deal with the truth of your situation honestly. Sex with an ex is not for everybody, so if you feel like it’s not for you, you can leave it and move on.