Is open marriage relationship cheating? Those who practice open marriage, polyamory, or consensual non-monogamy will most likely inform you no. Those who are monogamous, on the other hand, may state any romantic or sexual relationship beyond the main union is cheating. The genuine concern is…what is unfaithful?
The dictionary specifies cheating as “practicing scams or deceit, to breach guidelines, or to be sexually unfaithful.” It seems simple enough, but the word “unfaithful” can be tricky. For instance, if you’re dedicated to someone through marriage or monogamy, is sleeping with another person still thought about “unfaithful” if you’re honest about it with your partner?
Being faithful is being real to one’s word; steady in obligation to love, reputable, and trustworthy. Being unfaithful is breaking your word or responsibility, disloyalty, and being undependable. Then, by that logic, cheating has less to do with the physical act and more to do with the offense of trust and mutually agreed-upon rules.
You need to have a solid marital relationship, a love for each other that no one can break, and you have to know where you belong every night.
Open marital relationship is consensual, indicating both celebrations have accepted have sexual, intimate, or romantic relationships or encounters with individuals besides their spouse. Given that both agree, it’s not unfaithful, but rather “consensual non-monogamy.” That being stated, the play partner requires to also be consenting and “in the understand.”
Staying Within the Lines
Let’s face it, lying is not sexy.
An open relationship should not simply be a reason to have sex with every Jane, Tom, and Harry walking by. Many people have developed rules, which keep all partners safe, both physically and mentally.
Some common rules are:
- Approval prior to a play date
- Acceptance of the new partner
- Arranged time for play dates vs. primary partner dates
- Limitations on sexual behavior, such as no anal
- Limitations on body fluid exchange
- Sex only if both partners are involved, i.e., group sex
The guidelines can vary by couple, as most have their own goals and comfort level in mind. Some open up their marriage to spice things up but still wish to keep it casual, so they select swinging. Some people seek more committed non-monogamy, like polyamory, and delight in several long-term relationships.
The guidelines differ from couple to couple, however they are also ever-evolving. As a couple gets more comfortable in their open marriage and with their partner’s play partners, they might relax a few of these rules. For circumstances, “Sally is clean of STIs, and my other half has actually been having sex with only her and me for 6 months; let’s get rid of the requirement for condoms. Suppose a brand-new partner is introduced. Because case, they are not fluid bonded with us, and prophylactics must be utilized.” Depending upon how many partners you have, the rules might be various for each one. If you discover yourself with a complex flowchart of guidelines for your partners, you may wish to keep a “cheat sheet” to make certain you color in the lines.
Cheating still takes place.
Can someone in an open relationship cheat? Absolutely, yes, they can. If one partner no longer consents to the other person participating in intimate relationships with other people, and the non-monogamous relationship continues to do so, it is considered cheating. Both people have to actively consent on a continuous basis. It is also considered cheating if a partner violates the guidelines or lies about a new or current partner. In an open marriage, trust is paramount. If you break your partner’s trust, you are cheating on them. Trust is a significant component of any marital relationship, and breaking it can be devastating, including in an open marital relationship.
Popular sex writer Dan Savage says, “Couples do not need to be monogamous to be married, or married to be monogamous. Monogamy no longer defines marriage any more than the presence of children does. Monogamy isn’t compulsory, and its absence does not invalidate a marriage.”
The truth may not always set you free.
Often, the opinions of “traditional” marriage can be difficult to navigate for the monogamish couple. While it may feel exciting to keep this information between you and your partner, when you tell your friends, family, or even a stranger on the street, their reactions may be less than supportive. Many people still do not understand or support open marriage.
The traditional crowd often views open marriage as cheating, regardless of honesty and openness. It is common for people to assume that one spouse pushed the other into an open marriage because they wanted to sleep around.
If you plan on coming out about your open marriage, be prepared for many people not to be accepting. They may even think you are coming on to them just by telling them, or adamantly assert that it is fine for you to be that way, but they are not. Traditional relationship dynamics can feel threatened by a non-traditional path, as it challenges what they believe is a fundamental requirement of marriage: fidelity.
If you have a long-term partner besides your spouse, coming out may be important. It is a good idea to wait until you and your spouse are strong in your open marriage, so you can brush off any external pressures that come your way.
Feeling uncertain is normal. If you don’t address these feelings, they can fester and ultimately undermine your primary relationship. The key to a successful open marriage is being able to talk openly about the sexual encounters you have and the feelings you have about them.
If you find yourself emotionally struggling, make sure you talk to your partner and take advantage of online non-monogamy groups, like those on Adult FriendFinder. There are excellent forums where people in open marriages discuss the joys and pitfalls of their relationships. Additionally, you can talk about these issues with others who have been there and get their opinions and insights. Finding other people in open marriages who have experienced what you are going through can be very comforting. AdultFriendFinder.com not only helps couples in open marriages meet other couples and singles but also has an amazing online community that supports, educates, and discusses the wonders of open marriage.
An open marriage is not just open sexually; it is open in thoughts, feelings, and actions. Open is wide open.
Open marriage is consensual, meaning both parties have agreed to have sexual, intimate, or romantic relationships or encounters with people other than their spouse. As a couple gets more comfortable in their open marriage and with their partner’s play partners, they may relax some of the guidelines. Because trust is such a significant part of any marriage, breaking that trust can be devastating, including in an open marriage. There are excellent online forums where individuals in open marriages can discuss the joys and pitfalls of their relationship. AdultFriendFinder.com not only helps couples in open marriages meet other couples and singles, but it also has an amazing online community that supports, informs, and discusses the wonders of open marriage